Letter to the Airlines

When I book a ticket on my own dime I usually have a destination in mind and want the cheapest ticket. Why can?t any of the sites just tell me, “hey, the cheapest possible way to get you to Somewhere, State on the third weekend of march is if you fly on our 6pm flight Friday, and are willing to go through Somewhere Else, Other State. Or tell me hey, I understand you want to fly on these specific dates, but if you fly at these times here are the discounts because those planes aren’t very full right now. And speaking of booking tickets do you really need to jack the price up the last minute? Have you ever thought about lowering it to just fill the plane? Note to non-airline websites, if you let me just give you the dates and destination and find me the absolutely lowest possible fare regardless of airline, I?m your customer for life. Note back to airlines, I?ll stick with you if you let me get a discount for turning in a bit of mileage or foregoing earning mileage for the trip.
Ok, so let?s talk about some of the things that I think are either annoying or odd while flying.

  • Interruptions by the captain. I’m watching my movie and all of a sudden he/she is talking. That pause feature never seems to work and the voice usually makes me miss a key scene. Some of them go on forever. Someone needs to tell them that we really don’t care what the weather is like where we are going to land, or the flight speed or how happy they are that we chose to fly with them.
  • And speaking of long winded announcements, flight attendants should also keep it short and sweet. I think some of them feel powerful when talking on that mic and enjoy hearing their voice thunder over the terrible intercom.
  • Does anyone know why I have to put my bag under the seat in front of me? I like keeping it under my legs so I can stretch them out. I asked once and the flight attendant said it was so everyone could get out in an emergency. I guess I can understand this, but why is it only during take-off and landing? Seems to me that you can’t really do much evacuating at those times.
  • Being told that mobile phones may disrupt the navigation devices, then hearing one ring as we’re safely landing.
  • 500 mile upgrades. Just tell me when I’m eligible for first class.
  • Checking in. why does it take me four clicks on a kiosk, but 5 minutes of typing if I go to the checkin counter.
  • Does anyone know the “rules” for using curb side checkin? Why isn’t that used more often? Are we really so stingy that we’d rather wait in long lines then tip the folks outside a couple bucks?
  • Could we please come up with something other then making everyone have to take their shoes off? At least give us some carpet.
  • And how about laptops? I can keep a mobile phone with as much electronic guts as a laptop, my iPod, powered ear phones, AC adapters, my mouse, etc. but the laptop has to be seen outside the bag?
  • Temperature of the cabin. Why does the captain, locked in his little room control the main cabin. Often it’s too hot or too cold. Let the flight attendants manage this
  • Anyone know why the windows have to be open in the main cabin for take off and landing?
  • Answer found:
    DO I really have to keep my window shade open for takeoff? Some of us would prefer not to watch the world whiz by at 150 mph.

    If the shades are open, passengers can keep track of which way is up during an emergency. Windows are also a source of light if the cabin goes dark. The crew dims the lights during takeoff so, if the plane loses power, your eyes won’t have a hard time adjusting to the dark.

  • I believe that a good majority of passengers are business passengers that fly often. Can we get some more updated media for the TVs? If the airports can run CNN, why can’t you? Let’s upgrade those old VHS players, install some TiVos.
  • Stop wining and thanking me profusely for choosing your airline. It’s just weird.
  • Can you figure out something to let me sleep and not have my head falling all over the place? Good attempt on the curve in sides of the headrest, but not quite. Oh, and while you’re at it, any reason why the chair is shaped such that my head is pushed forward rather then preferably allowing me to lean it back so that it rests. Add a neck roll and I think we’re there.
  • Does anyone use those air phones? I’m glad it’s finally getting cheaper, but am I really going to pay $10 a month?
  • When am I going to get internet access. Now that’s something I’ll pay for. Hell, you could put little computers in, offer IM access and probably make a ton of money.
  • Why do they come around to collect trash two minutes after they gave you your drink. Am I supposed to slam my soda?
  • Who the hell decided the middle guy shouldn’t get any elbow room?

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